Thoughts...

Over the past month or so, I have developed more questions then answers, and well, it's been rather frustrating. I'm an extremely black and white person and am not satisfied until I find an objective solid solution. I feel as if in the past couple days I'm beginning to see light in this dark tunnel. What a joy!
Although it's been an frustrating process, one that I wish I could leap out of, I'm glad and encouraged to be going through it. I find it amazing and encouraging to see how God uses times as these to break and mold us into who He wants us to be.
The average Christian is usually scared to ask questions. But, in that very attitude, one is not trusting God to really be there and to have revealed Himself. I truly think that when we seek out questions theologically, philosophically, or any other "ically" the God revealed in the Bible is the only thing that makes sense and the only world that we can live in. Man cannot live in the atheists world. Man cannot live in the pantheists world and so on. All these world views borrow and live on a theists perspective!
Anyways, quite often I adapt views simply because they are "factually" correct or intellectually make sense. I believe this is what largely has caused many of my frustrations. After fighting and analyzing every minute thing, concepts, beliefts, theological stances have become oh so real!
What a illuminating thing it is to honestly, realistically, and passionately believe and live what you think to be "factually" correct. This may seem to some common sense. But, I'm not sure if it is. If everyone really believed what they believe, I think you would see a radical change in the way they go about life.
So I've challenged myself, do I really believe what I believe. Oh, does it matter tremendously!
I can now honestly take risk for Jesus Christ my savior. I can rest, fully assured, in the sovereignty of God. I can find true,infinite,life-changing joy in the real Joy Giver.
My friends, may we catch the revolution this could be. Do we as Christians (a word that has lost all of its real meaning) believe that God is our greatest joy? If you we do, why do we take refuge in money, clothes, power, jobs, relationships, academics, sports rather then the one thing we were created to find ultimate joy in!? Do we really believe in the hope of the gospel? Do we really believe that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. I certainly don't most of the time. If I did, I would risk my life daily for the cause of Christ, knowing that can separate me from my Savior.
In the end, my questions, which are not fully answered, are causing me to rethink much of my life and taste the sweetness of Christ that much more! My plea, for us as Christians, is to engage our questions knowing that God is really there and He is not silent (yes, thats a book). Let us realize the revolution that is so near to us when we actually do this.
I read "Don't waste your life" by John Piper the last couple days. I read Piper constantly, but for some reason, this book greatly resonated with me. I want to treasure Christ above all else. I want to partake in his sufferings. I want to, at that great day, to look into the Creators face and here, "Well done Mark, here is your reward." I want to find all my joy in the only true Joy-Giver. I want to bring glory to the one who made me for His glory. I don't want to waste my life.
I leave on part of a prayer that Piper ends this book on, " Forbid that any, Lord, who read these words would have to say someday, "I've wasted it." but grant, by your almighty Spirit and your piercing World, that we who name Christ as the Lord would treasure him above our lives, and feel, deep in our souls, that Christ is life and death is gain. And so may we display his worth for all to see. And by our prizing him may he be praised in all the world. May he be magnified in life and death. May ever neighborhood and nation see how joy in Jesus frees his people from the power of greed and fear."